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Joke of the Day

"I think Ronda Rousey would be at a disadvantage if she fought Floyd Mayweather. Mayweather has had practice beating women"

"Did you hear about the crack addict that got trapped in a pyramid? He had to sarcophagi for the drug money"

"Wings are the leading cause of bird flew"

"Lying on the hammock while my wife does yard work. Don't know exactly what she's planting but the hole she dug is slightly bigger than me."

"I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed ""take a nap"" with ""piece of crap"" so don't tell me about your parenting skills."

"I threw some pills at my doctor I thought it would be a good idea to give him a taste of his own medicine"

"What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team? You're going to have to ci-tris one out."

"I caught my wife cheating with the neighbor last night They are both banned from being the banker during monopoly game night now. That will teach them to sleep together."

"This relationship is over. Over. ~dumping someone via walkie talkie."

"I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago..."