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Joke of the Day

"I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed ""take a nap"" with ""piece of crap"" so don't tell me about your parenting skills."

"Why do vacuums machines make for such terrible hairdriers? because they suck."

"Did you know Stalin's penis was the funniest part of his body? It was real commiedick."

"What type of cheese can you see in a mirror? Halloumi! (Hello me)"

"Knock knock ... Who's there? Any. Any who? Come in, Canadian!"

"How do you stop a rhino from charging? You take away its USB cable."

"Why did the horror fan switch off Cujo? Because he felt like IT"

"If we took Korea's capital away ... They would be Seoulless"

"Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either."

"So Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter are to separate after 13 years together. I wonder who will get custody of Johnny Depp."