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Joke of the Day

"I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed ""take a nap"" with ""piece of crap"" so don't tell me about your parenting skills."

"Did you hear about the eagle that performed a piano concerto? The applause was quite raptor-ous!"

"The blind circumcisionist What happened to the blind circumcisionist? He got the sack! Don't think Circumcisionist is a real word but it sounds better then surgeon or urologist."

"What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea"

"Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory? Because he went crackers."

"I think it is wrong that the Bali 9 get a one minute silence I mean, they already got a 21 gun salute."

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"Old man at the gym just told.me this one. Women asks me:""do you smoke after intercourse?"" I don't know, I haven't looked"

"78% of black men like sex in the shower The other 22% haven't been to prison yet"

"Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way. Trying to get into smaller pants."