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Joke of the Day

"If you feel like someone is playing mind games with you, they totally are and you should kill them before they kill you."

"Two men walked into a bar You'd think at least one of them would've ducked."

"What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice."

"My girlfriend finally watched Back To The Future. It's about time."

"My ex has made me dinner.. *gives a bit to the dog first*"

"Two blondes walk into a bar. You would think one of them would have seen it."

"What's Harley Quinn's favourite rap group? Insane Clown Pussy."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck."

"Personally, I don't think it would feel good to be walking on sunshine. The sun is a fucking hot ball of gas."

"How do you fit an elephant in the subway? (x-post) You take the 'S' out of sub, and the 'F' out of way."