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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit an elephant in the subway? (x-post) You take the 'S' out of sub, and the 'F' out of way."

"if you love dictionaries so much why dont you Merriam"

"Buy a ""World's Greatest Boss"" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss."

"I bought a pair of shoes from my drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day"

"How does a Muslim shut a door? Islams it."

"Q: What kind of suit does a bee wear to work? A: A buzzness suit!"

"Do not mess with bears. You'll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That's right - a victim"

"Want to hear an ebola joke? you wont get it"

"What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"

"I just found the Wand of Transfiguration! This changes everything!"