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Joke of the Day

"I'm having problems with my cat, He told me i was a prima-donna, which makes no sense. She became famous in the 80's and I was born in '93. I am most certainly post-Madonna."

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"Nothing is as effective as homeopathy -Peter Serafinowicz"
"I can never talk to my Dad at breakfast because he still reads newspapers. I guess you could say he's behind The Times."
"My wife wanted me to go shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn't have sex."
"holy shit imagine a crab bringing you breakfast on a tray like a lil waiter"
"Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee? Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)"
"What's the difference between a preschool and a brothel? You should know this you sick fuck."
"Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian companion? Tanto"
"If only the first rule of Vegan club Was not to talk about Vegan club"
"What do women and hand grenades have in common? When you pull the ring off, your house goes away."