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Joke of the Day

"I can never talk to my Dad at breakfast because he still reads newspapers. I guess you could say he's behind The Times."

"The pen is mightier than the sword ...except in basically every real life battle scenario"

"I don't understand how there can be different shoe sizes. I mean, everyone's feet are a foot long."

"Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd Potato Head: I want to look good on my date"

"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump's tie."

"A horse comes into a bar.., No wait, it was a man. A horse comes in a man..."

"If you use the iPhone 6 upside down, boom, iPhone 9."

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo Drizzle.."

"What did one testicle say to the other testicle? Don't talk to the guy in the middle. He is a dick!"

"Why do people looking for motivational seminars and people attending bodybuilding competitions keep accidentally going to each other's events? They both want personal growth."