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Joke of the Day

"I love eating Swiss pancakes. They're like regular pancakes but neutral, so I can eat as many as I want."

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? So it can reach its head."

"When he died, Beethoven left something on his piano bench It was the same thing he left in his toilet: his last movement"

"I'm suprised that there aren't more fat lesbians... All they ever talk about is eating out."

"Why did the viper viper nose ? Because the adder adder hankerchief !"

"Reminder: Please just hit the ""RT"" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art."

"One time my 4yr old got so mad at my wife he yelled, ""YOU'RE RABBIT FROM WINNIE THE POOH!"" Best.Insult.Ever."

"Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother."

"Just ran a .3K (Ice cream truck wouldn't stop)"

"What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you? Go for the juggler."