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Joke of the Day

"When he died, Beethoven left something on his piano bench It was the same thing he left in his toilet: his last movement"

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"I don't drink and drive..... I only drink at stop signs and red lights."
"Why does Yasuo never get locked out? Because he always ""hasaki!"""
"Why is the homeless /r/anime mod still homeless? Every time someone tries to give him Shelter, he rejects it."
"My mate was devasted when a stunning Syrian lady stopped messaging him on a dating site . I told him don't worry there's plenty more refugee's in the sea"
"Sex toy or Dog toy? What do you think?! http://www.cinderellastyle.com/can-you-tell-if-its-a-sex-toy-or-a-dog-toy-game-show/"
"What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi? There, their, they're......"
"Man to wife: Business is bad, if YOU learn TO cook we can remove servant. Wife: If YOU learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman..."
"Midwife: It's a boy, ma'am. Mrs Dickens: Edward. Edward's a nice name, isn't it, dear? Dickens: LET'S CALL HIM OPPROBRIOUS FRILLYBOCKER"
"when my kids lose a tooth i'm gonna put euros under their pillow they'll cry but i'll be all uh oh looks like daddy has to take us to europe"