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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you? Go for the juggler."

"What does it mean when they say my car needs ""more low"" I don't know, I don't speak Little Bitch."

"I text back embarrassingly fast or three days later there is no in-between."

"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"

"Am I a better husband or father? Well let's just say I never fantasize about being with other kids."

"Why are fish always on drugs? They just keep getting hooked."

"A man only buys water from a dancer. His son notices this and after a while he asks him, ""Why do you only buy water from that dancer?"" ""Because,"" the father said with a grin, ""I enjoy *tap* water!"""

"Why does jesus not play video games? Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn"

"[Biker gang] ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed? BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we ""synchronize our cycles."""

"This guy at my work is giving his wife a gym membership for Christmas. His name was John."