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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend? Because Sheeran."

"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? I don't know he hasn't opened it yet."

"I've made a list of seven notes on how to get to the front page If you follow the first 6 it will get you a few hundred upvotes but with Note 7 it will blow up"

"How can you tell when the stage is level? The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth."

"Despite the rumors, I actually don't have a problem with the new $20.... This country has a long history of trading black people for other goods."

"What does a robot do during sex? He nuts and bolts!"

"Working out For me going to the gym is a lot like having sex. I'm get nervous before, it doesn't last as long as I want it to, I'm ashamed the whole time, and I usually cry afterwards."

"God: I made the sky a canvas, the sun & the clouds an ever changing painting of colorful beauty. Devil: I made potato chips."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car? Rex (made this one up myself!)"

"I like my women like I like my psychiatrists... Jung."