220129

Joke of the Day

"I hate it when... people refer to themselves as animal containers. and yes I'm a hippo crate."

"I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone."

"Onions are a lot like knives.... If you get them in your eye you'll probably cry"

"The cops just showed up at work & all the workers that have been in trouble before fled. At least that's what I can see from under my desk."

"A group of protesters are in front of a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant."""

"Well it's almost time for that "" New Year New Me "" bullshit again!"

"Technically all breakfasts are continental, unless you eat them in the ocean."

"Vampires, if I want to be jabbed with a body part, teeth are not my 1st choice. Also, I have plenty of holes. No need to make new ones."

"ME: (signing) What color are apples? BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors"

"How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy? He used conditioner on them."