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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I'm cruising in my convertible, hair blowing in the wind, then realize I'm just sitting on my ride-on lawnmower. Drunk. Again."

"One time I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist.... Unfortunately, I couldn't find any openings....."

"*adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms*"

"The thing about ""Your Mom"" jokes is... You're living proof your mom puts out."

"That awkward moment when you see a midget eating a mini donut."

"mythical anciemt turtel that canot die has been found in the galapagos. ""dont worry"" says one scientist ""we wil find a way to kill it"""

"GUYS: you need to be nicer to women,if you dont believe me just google ""woman stabs"" and see how many stories come up."

"""If you woke up with your pants at your ankles and your ass covered in vasoline, would you tell anybody?"" Guy #2: ""No."" Guy #1: ""Just wondering.... Wanna go camping?"""

"How is college like a woman? It takes forever to get in, and nine months later you wish you hadn't come."

"I think it would be great if ice cream licked you back."