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Joke of the Day
"Onions are a lot like knives.... If you get them in your eye you'll probably cry"
Next Joke
"Aragorn: If I can protect you, I will. You have my sword Legolas: And you have my bow Gimli: and my axe Steve: and my 439 Twitter followers"
"What happened to the two ants who got into a fight on a toilet seat? They got pissed off."
"Damn girl are you my dad? Because you're not there"
"Siri's on her period. she needs an iPad"
"Why did the CS major quit his job? He didn't get arrays."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotopus"
"Waiter: Did you save room for dessert? Me: Not really, I'm stuffed Waiter: Ok, I'll bring the check Me: I'll have the chocolate cake."
"What's the difference between George W. Bush and Hitler? Hitler was an evil *genius*."
"Please make sure my tombstone reads: wish you were here."