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Joke of the Day

"Well it's almost time for that "" New Year New Me "" bullshit again!"

"So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it's okay to comment ""hahaha"" but the rest of the year it's rude??"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butch ! Butch who ? Butch your arms around me !"

"The doctor gave me 1 month to live So I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved."

"I remember the Christmas my son got me my first DVD. It was a rental...6 days overdue. And we didn't even have a DVD player!"

"Crueless joke Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"My wife says I've left the toilet seat up ""like a bajillion times"" but I'm contacting Jill Stein to demand a recount."

"*shows up to salsa lessons with tostitos* haha what the heck are you idiots doing"

"I just saw 2 blondes walk into a bar. You'd think after the first one did, the second one would have stopped."

"friend: what are your plans for The Purge? [imagines broadcasting a football game w/o express written consent of the NFL] me: do a murder"