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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of Embarrassing? Running into a wall with a erection and your nose touches the wall first."

"Light beer is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"

"Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here"

"Pirate joke what I made up What do you call a pirate with two legs, two arms and two eyes? Noob."

"My life would be so much easier if i wasn't intelligent enough to realize how fucking stupid some people are."

"What is Blair Walsh's favorite song? I have no idea honestly, you would have to ask him"

"Did you know there are more planes in the ocean.. Than submarines in the sky?"

"My Ex-Wife still misses me... BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! It's funny because marriage is terrible."

"When I get real bored I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving."

"Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake. Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes? Officer: well, that's not prohibited."