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Joke of the Day

"Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here"

"All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women."

"Boss: Where were you born? Santa : India .. Boss: which part? Santa : What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India ."

"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."

"An apple a day..... Causes job shortages in the hospital. Have a burger instead!"

"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"

"Sea lions are faster than humans on both land and sea, so if you face one in a triathlon, you really need to make up time on the cycling."

"One liner So two law students walk into a bar"

"What do men and women have in common? They both distrust men."

"I've always wanted to meet a Syrian ... That's why I'm travelling to Germany next year."