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Joke of the Day

"Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses and his father standing beside him said ""Now remember son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything."""

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"Her: is the game almost over? Me: this is just the first half Her: uggghh how many more halves are there? Me: you're pretty"
"Why don't blind people sky-dive? (from ""Money Train"") Because it scares the shit out of their dogs."
"Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him."
"How do you organize wet books? With the mildewy decimal system!"
"What did the number zero say to the number eight? ""Nice belt."""
"How do dogs own cats? bitches have pussies"
"What's the difference between pudding pops and bill Cosbys dick? It's consensual when people eat pudding pops."
"Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room? Because it was More ER Tea."
"Kids are like farts... I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own."