215636

Joke of the Day

"Why don't blind people sky-dive? (from ""Money Train"") Because it scares the shit out of their dogs."

"What do you call a camel with 3 humps? Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)"

"If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years"

"When I was about 8, my mom would play hide and go seek with me.. She was really good, too. Mom, where are you?"

"How many pirates does it take to screw in a lightbulb in China? "

"What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl"

"What does Kayne West masturbate to? He masturbates to the sight of his ego."

"And on the eighth day, God let the dogs out. And there was much confusion among the Baha Men."

"Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny."

"WIFE: You promised not to spend the lottery winnings on something stupid ME: *climbing off my new elephant* He has a name, Karen"