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Joke of the Day

"Texts friend: sorry, I'm running late. Friend: no problem, let me know when you're on your way. [ 6 weeks later] Ok I've left."

"A committee has narrowed the search for a name for the newly hypothesised 9th planet. It's between Urpenis and Urvagina."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no-BODY to go with."

"What do you call a wanderin' nun? A Roamin' Catholic"

"95% of pet ownership is just saying ""hello"" to them in various tones."

"An anteater walks into a bar... ""First the horse, now this asshole"" remarked the bartender. Credit: u/reduxde"

"What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together? Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann"

"I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car"

"A priest, rapist, and pedophile walks into a bar... ...and he orders a drink."

"What happens when you give an Autobot a blowjob? The power goes out."