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Joke of the Day

"A priest, rapist, and pedophile walks into a bar... ...and he orders a drink."

"What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back? (_) ( _)>- (_) A Reptile Dysfunction."

"I took my girlfriend to tour NASA this weekend! She said she needed some space."

"I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission. Who the hell is 'Foreclosure'?"

"""I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"""

"There are two kinds of people in the world These who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."

"What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit? Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"My sister had a threesome with two huge pornstars. Now she's not sure if she had a good time or not. Truth is, she's a little torn."

"What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison? A convent!"

"""You fancy my best friend, don't you?"" asked my wife. ""If given the choice..."" I replied, ""I'd rather have sex with you then her."" ""You mean 'than'."" ""No."""