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Joke of the Day

"How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything? Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one? Me : Today's."

"The fire service is attending to a man who is trapped after falling into a vat of bourbon at the Jim Beam factory. Although, he is said to be in good spirits."

"What I lack in imagination I make up for in....stuff."

"I know Muslims can't eat pork. Islam ok though?"

"What did Ron Burgandy say when he dropped his waffle on the beach? Go fuck yourself sandy Eggo"

"Forrest Gump What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password ? 1forrest1"

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... ... It's impossible to put down"

"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? Because he's married."

"""I'm going to slide in and go back and forth until you're satisfied"" -Floss"

"Have you heard that Magnesium is dating Oxygen? OMg"