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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your girlfriend's yeast infection and the brand of peanut butter your Mom used? The peanut butter was easier to get off the roof of your mouth ..."

"Who was the first carpenter? Eve. She made Adam's banana stand"

"When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day... Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home."

"Instead of going to college, just read a pile of books and barely do your laundry. Same thing."

"50 cent files for bankruptcy He only had 50 cent"

"""Um excuse me, my eyes are up here. And here. And here, here, here, here, and here."" - spider with big tits"

"Who died and made you king? Oh the king before you died. Well that makes sen- Oh he was your father. Well then I'm very sorry for your loss."

"You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my ""wine glasses""."

"*calls Rosetta Stone* Yes hi I was wondering if you had a course on body language *my friend choking on buffalo wings clutches his throat*"

"What do you call a deer with one good eye? A good idear..."