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Joke of the Day

"Instead of going to college, just read a pile of books and barely do your laundry. Same thing."

"What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common? Bad blood."

"Twitter: Where #Hash is legal."

"What do the chronically late have in common with sex traffickers? They both ""run behind""."

"A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink"

"(fully aware that i am always more tired after a nap than i was before) this time will be different"

"Someone asked me if I wanted to watch Richard the third. I Said 'I haven't the seen the first 2'"

"What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don't ask her out again."

"There were 99 people on a boat, and then it turned over. How many were left? 66."

"If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO <badumpa>"