219647

Joke of the Day

"I shouldn't have agreed to be a cowboy's target dummy for lasso throwing practice. How did I get roped into this?"

"I've been asked to take care of the neighbour's cat. They aren't on holiday - they're just really lazy."

"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescendant con descending."

"i want the first line of my obituary to be about how i once used an umbrella three different times before losing it"

"The inventor of predictive text has died His funfair is hello on sundial."

"""I used to work at a fire hydrant factory."" ""You couldn't park anywhere *near* the place!"" -Steven Wright"

"What's the difference between feminists and Nazis? The Nazis had a purpose"

"When looking at the list of the best 10 Presidents of the last 150 years Obama's name really jumps off the page. Because it knows it sure as hell doesn't belong there."

"I like my TVs like I like my women... Smart and curved."

"Music star Kenny Rogers announced his retirement yesterday. In other news, Kenny Rogers is still alive, apparently."