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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life.... Avoiding them"

"i am not jesus Jesus can wallk on water..,, correct? Yess! Well,.. I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So I am 98% Jesus. ;)"

"""He's not sleeping with you cause you're fat and ugly, so lose some weight and do your make up like this."" - Women's magazines, summarized."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton? Bill got fucked in the oval office and Hillary just got fucked out of it."

"I wish crappy people weren't allowed to like my favorite band."

"What does a wife and a tornado have in common? They start with a blowjob then they take your house."

"How much Norris? (Tongue twister) How much Norris could Chuck Norris chuck, if Chuck Norris could chuck Norris?"

"Congratulations are in order. I just got the stitches in the roof of my mouth removed from that bowl of Cap'n Crunch I had when I was 13."

"Breaking both of your legs sucks. I can't stand being in a wheelchair."

"A young wife was dying... She called her husband and said, ""Gary, I have a confession: I've been unfaithful."" Gary answered, ""I know. That's why I poisoned you."""