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Joke of the Day

"How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$? He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay."

"Seeing as Rick Parfitt has died, does that mean... ...that the Status Quo has not been maintained?"

"I'm glad humans don't do the combo breed names like Labradoodle. I wouldn't want to tell people I'm Germish."

"When my wife does our daughter's hair: ""How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?"" When I do her hair: ""How about a hat?"""

"Tommy went to his mom in the kitchen and said: 'Mom! Mom! The dog is having sex!' So mom says: 'Try not to pay attention to it, sweetheart.' to which Tommy responds: 'But it hurts so much!'"

"What's the best part of having Alzheimer's? You get to meet new people everyday!"

"Boobs are the original WMD's. Weapons of Man's Destruction."

"Is ""blowjob"" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards."

"Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you."

"What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon? The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light."