201465

Joke of the Day

"Seeing as Rick Parfitt has died, does that mean... ...that the Status Quo has not been maintained?"

"There's a Little House On The Prairie film in the works, in case any of you are looking to take a two-hour nap in a theatre next year."

"Name your penis after a movie or a game. Oblivion."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. ...because I don't have time to get arrested today."

"I went to the health clinic the other day... My doctor said I weighed 483 pounds but I shouldn't worry about it because we are in the UK"

"I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?"

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna."

"I'm allergic to bears. One bear bite & it's straight to the ER for me."

"Snitching is common in Thompkins Square Park It's full of rats"

"Got so drunk last night I woke up on a sidewalk this morning and rolled under a parked car so I could continue sleeping in the shade."