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Joke of the Day
"Boobs are the original WMD's. Weapons of Man's Destruction."
Next Joke
"You are what you eat. *eats Ryan Gosling* *crosses fingers*"
"Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters. Dog 2: woof? Dog 1: You're not even trying."
"Its probably time to clean the microwave when you heat coffee and it comes out smelling like a burrito."
"Scientists say they are working on bringing back the wholly mammoth. But at what cost? ...per pound?"
"I sent off half a score of jokes into a competition to increase my chances to win.. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."
"They don't make microwaves the size of refrigerators because they know if you were high you'd try nuking your friends."
"Why do all the lesbians shop at The Sports Authority? Because they don't like Dicks."
"How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?"
"Idea: Like Google Glass, but a necklace or something that projects a website onto the face of the person talking to you."