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Joke of the Day

"... Your future"

"Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy? I heard everybody had a blast."

"Did the Deer have any doe? he had 2 Bucks"

"*lives in a crumbling democracy on a slow terrible decline* hellll yes who just got two green lights in a row"

"Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn't read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND."

"It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"

"The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO"

"What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays."

"What is tuba plus tuba? Fourba!"