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Joke of the Day
"Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy? I heard everybody had a blast."
Next Joke
"That awkward moment when you're not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up."
"Holy crap! I forgot to have coffee today! What else did I forget? WHERE IS MY BABY?!? Wait, do I have one of those? DO I HAVE A BABY?!?"
"Fact: In the 80s nobody could have sex until someone started playing a saxophone."
"What's a cats favorite Mexican dish? A purr-rito"
"My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, ""all over."""
"Did you guys hear about the new business shopping center in Pepto County? They're calling it the Pepto Biz Mall"
"What's Whitney Houston's favorite coordination? Hand eyyyyyyyyyyeeeeee......"
"A person dies every 3 seconds. How can a person die that many times?"
"Chanting ""I'm not creepy"" in front of a mirror doesn't make you feel any less creepy."