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Joke of the Day

"*lives in a crumbling democracy on a slow terrible decline* hellll yes who just got two green lights in a row"

"Why was The Joker's US Passport application denied? Passports require proof of US citizenship and The Joker is a fictional character."

"90% of Men in Chicago have had shower sex The other 10% have never been to prison."

"How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet."

"I was offered sex today... with a 21 year old and all I had to do was re-post a joke. I, of course, declined."

"Whats grey and comes in pints? Elephants"

"Me: BARTENDER! Bring me another beer. Him: Mom, I'm doing my homework. Me: *claps* Star! Him: I hate Twitter. Me: *belch* blocked."

"I tried to catch some fog. But I mist."

"What type of pants does Mario wear? denim denim denim"

"What did the drunken Irishman say to the Chinese diplomat? http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/what_did_the_drunken_irishman_say_to_the_chinese/"