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Joke of the Day

"Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it"

"Q: What has got four legs and an arm? - A: A Rottweiler in a playground."

"Black Fridays Matter? All Fridays Matter."

"Why did the Crimean run across the Street? Because he was Russian"

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? Cuz u JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE? Cop: I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE STARTED FIGHTIN FOOOR For speeding."

"Why did the farmer name his pig ink? Because he kept running out of the pen..."

"My mind has been wandering so long, we're pretty much in a long-distance relationship."

"People should be able to spell arbitrary however the hell they want to."

"One liner So two law students walk into a bar"

"A man was killed by ducks last week I guess you can say that's a pretty *fowl way to die*"