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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? Cuz u JUST CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE? Cop: I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT WE STARTED FIGHTIN FOOOR For speeding."

"Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds."

"If brevity is the soul of wit... Why the fuck are some the jokes posted here so long?"

"What is a crack head's favourite song? Q: What is a crack head's favourite song? A: I wanna rock!!! Well I found it funny anyway.."

"Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City guess they don't have cell towers there so you didn't get my texts I'm going to kill you b"

"What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates? Cheapskates getting cheap skates"

"If you try to rip somebody's head off, I suggest you train for it first. If you don't succeed it makes the following few minutes awkward."

"I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald's."

"What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? I can sleep with a light on."

"Alan Rickman lost in the woods, leaving a trail of perfectly pronounced words"