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Joke of the Day

"I don't know where else to put this, and I know reddit hates it, but if you have ok Google, ask 'what does the fox say?' I love their sense of humor."

"I'm a polymorphic alien... ...and I have taken shape of this text, and at this very moment I am having sex with your eyeballs and by the smile on your face I can tell that you are enjoying it :)"

"Some mornings I just want to brew the coffee directly into my mouth."

"I'd like to drown my sorrows. But I can't convince my wife to go swimming."

"Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War? Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!"

"How does Harry Potter travel about? Walking -Jk Rolling"

"Who comes in the fog? Seamen."

"I'm going to the grocery store where I'll try to get the cashier to call 911 based only on the items I'm purchasing."

"A woman recently tried to flirt with me using a electric mixer. She said she was going to whisk me away."

"Yo mama is so fat that she needs a book mark to keep track of all her chin rolls!"