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Joke of the Day

"I'm a polymorphic alien... ...and I have taken shape of this text, and at this very moment I am having sex with your eyeballs and by the smile on your face I can tell that you are enjoying it :)"

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? AYE MATEY!"

"My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores me until she needs something."

"In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine ... runs off ..."

"A priest, a homosexual, and a paedophile walk into a bar...... And then a second guy walks in"

"If Joseph Stalin completed all of his highschool credits Does that make him a Stalingrad?"

"I carpool with a guy & we have officially run out of things to talk about. Today he commented on how well-made the road was. I agreed."

"What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans."

"I had a friend in a wheelchair but i had to let him go Now hes going downhill fast"

"I'm classically trained in the art of Nintendo."