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Joke of the Day

"Years ago I went to a job placement agency. I left disappointed. Apparently nobody offers temp work as an astronaut."

"What's the difference between the Chinese and Germans? The Chinese rike and the Germans Reich."

"HER: Can I give you my new number? ME: *Eye roll* I REALLY doubt you came up with a number I don't already know."

"I can turn a case of beer into a drunk man. Your move, Jesus."

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""

"If kids get their mouths washed out with soap for saying naughty words are we supposed to wash their hands for typing them?"

"Ever heard of the 68 position? You go down on me now and I'll owe you one."

"My sex life is like a Ferrari I don't have one :("

"How do you kill a fox? Cut off one of it's legs and make it run across Canada"

"Just found a hole in my sock and now I'm worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant."