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Joke of the Day

"HER: Can I give you my new number? ME: *Eye roll* I REALLY doubt you came up with a number I don't already know."

"if someone else is in the picture with you why do some people still call it a ""selfie""?....that's a ""groupie"""

"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?"

"""Look on the bright side - at least there's more for us to drink with him gone"" is, apparently, not something one should say at a wake."

"What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches? Extra virgin oil"

"If more than one mouse is mice, then more than one Spouse is Spice.'"

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"Any t-shirt can be an ironic t-shirt if you hate things enough"

"Why would Adrian Peterson be a great baseball player? Because he's a switch hitter"

"A clock asked another clock out... He was timezoned"