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Joke of the Day

"My sex life is like a Ferrari I don't have one :("

"Superman graffitis a wall: ""Batman is a moron"" Batman writes under that, ""Superman is Clark Kent""."

"What do you call a seven course Irish meal? A 6-pack and a potato."

"[OC] So I went downstairs to check the time on a clock... But it was saying 4:04: Time Not Found!"

"Why was Jack scared? Because Jack was bean stalked"

"There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car looks ridiculous!"

"Sometimes I like to stop and fart at the jewelry counter in Macy's to remind them that there's common folk like us that shop there too."

"What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches? On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch."

"Me: Do you want anything from Chipotle? CW: Yeah....just surprise me. Me: *comes back with no food* SURPRISE!"

"Fish I've got a great pet fish. I called him home. He is an absolutely wonderful fish! You might even say there's no plaice like home!"