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Joke of the Day

"I woke up hungover but couldn't make myself throw up. So I guess I have a lotta shit to deal with today."

"Me: I wonder what the wicked witch's name is. 7: Ding Dong. Me: What? 7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Me: Oh. My. God. "

"What did Ryu say when he was taking a dump?... ""IMMM-DUKEN!'"""

"Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible."

"According to the 25th Amendment, if the President is incapacitated, the Vice President becomes the executive producer of ""The Apprentice."""

"What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army."

"So many things have made me laugh today but not one of them was funny."

"How do you keep an asshole in suspense?"

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."