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Joke of the Day

"What happened to the Japanese Senator with Erectile Dis-function that didn't get enough votes this year. He rost the erection."

"If I buy a cardigan, and then I buy another cardigan Am I buying a cardiganagain?"

"Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? it's fucking close to water."

"My son told me all females have nice butts in yoga pants, so I took him to Walmart so he could see the error of his thoughts."

"My wife lost 200 lbs! I divorced her."

"HOW TO ROB A BANK: (1) Walk in and start talking about your study abroad experience. (2) Everyone's asleep now. Grab the money."

"If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her"

"*Goes into debt Debt: Wrong hole."

"Why did the marine biologist jump off a bridge? He lost his porpoise in life."

"FRIEND: Wow you have bought A LOT of frozen food ME: I like to plan ahead FRIEND: But you haven't got a freezer ME: I'm a terrible planner"