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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes when I talk to people I start pointing at crouches. (Point)"
Next Joke
"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece ofcelery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."
"What's the resemblence between politics and sex? It can be in whatever position they choose, but regardless there's still just gonna be a dick going in there, and you're still getting fucked."
"WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling."
"[Hospital front desk] ""Yeah my wife is here for weight loss surg-"" *wife hits me* ""Baby delivery, I mean she's here to deliver a baby"""
"""I couldn't work there after what he said to me..."" ""What did he say?"" ""You're fired."""
"Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes... ""Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"" ""Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"""
"What's the hardest thing about becoming a lawyer in Ireland? Passing the bar."
"Pizza Rolls are just Hot Pockets for midgets"
"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran."