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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Nothing you could say could convince me that cockroaches aren't the worst. Me: Wall-E's friend was a cockroach. Wife: Except that."

Next Joke
 
"The problem with other people's money. The problem with other people's money is that it's tainted. 'tain't yours and 'tain't mine."
"I met a guy the other day with a glass eye. He didn't tell me, it just came out in the conversation"
"Unemployment jokes aren't funny They just don't work"
"Yesterday I gave my seat to a blind man. Today I lost my job as a bus driver."
"What is the leading cause of dry skin? Bath towels..."
"Just one, actually. How many scientists does it take to build a time machine?"
"How do zombies celebrate Halloween? They paint the town dead!"
"Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year! Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever."
"How are making love in a boat and Coors Lite similar? They're both fucking close to water,"