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Joke of the Day

"Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year! Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever."

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows."

"What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"

"Now THAT's what I call music! And THIS? THIS is what I call a movie. Oh & over there? A TV show! Don't even get me started on YouTube videos"

"(OC dad joke) What do you call a goat on a small mountain? A hillbilly"

"What's black and blue and about to hurt someone? Batman thinking about his dead parents."

"David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers."

"I like when I see a 30mph speed limit sign spraypainted to say 80. Whoever does that has found a way to completely beat the system"

"Deactivated my FB. Before the final ""submit"", they show you pictures of ""friends"" that says ""These people will miss you"". Best laugh ever."

"Why did the woman sky-diver wear a jock strap? So she didn't whistle on the way down."