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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't the word gangster pronounced [Jang-ster]? Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'"

"Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting."

"I got my sister a T-shirt and a dildo... That way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself."

"How do mathematicians deal with constipation? They work it out with a pencil."

"My girlfriend keeps telling me i need a job... I said ""with your hands or your mouth?"""

"When you clean a vacuum cleaner You become a vacuum cleaner"

"When the party host collects everyone's coats and throws them on their bed, I just stay in mine and take a nap among the jackets."

"What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister? They are both in bread."

"What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common? They both prefer to be called ""artists"" instead of what they really are."

"I live in a high crime neighbourhood if you count socks with sandals."