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Joke of the Day

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"Twitter's still doing that thing where I'm not funny."

"Movie theater employees have 2 ages: 17 104"

"Word of warning, if you're in a job interview and you are asked, ""Do you smoke?"" Don't reply with, ""Depends what it is..."""

"CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!"

"I had a piece of Carefree sugarless gum ..and I was still worried! It never kicked in!"

"Why did the squirrel swim on it's back? To keep it's nuts dry."

"How many Karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? [repost] I don't care. I'm just doing this for the upvotes, but I think the other guy said ten... or 500... something like that."

"What does Optimus Prime say on 4-20? Autobots, roll up!"

"What do you want on your tombstone? pepperoni and cheese...."