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Joke of the Day

"CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!"

"It's about time I talked to the boy about the birds and the bees. If memory serves, it's the stork that delivers and the swallow receives?"

"When Santa arrives at home, he says: Honey, I'm ho-ho-home! ... I'll show myself out."

"Why do old people read the bible so much? I asked my grandad the other day ""why do old people read the bible so much?"" He replied ""cause we're cramming for finals"""

"I bought an electric pen the other day ...but my handwriting's still shocking"

"It's cute how I ordered 2 drinks and the bartender asked if I wanted to wait for the other person to be seated"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they are both stuck up cunts"

"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pick pocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"

"The NSA is coming to town You better not call, You better not Skype, You better not type and I'm telling you why, The NSA is coming to town"

"What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed? Joint Family."