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Joke of the Day

"What does Optimus Prime say on 4-20? Autobots, roll up!"

"Why do white people shop from black people's yard sales? To get their stuff back."

"Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time? It was a dead heat."

"If a tree falls down in the woods... But nobody is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time? A line of marathon runners"

"Apple's CEO Tim Cook has announced he is gay. Samsung's CEO is expected to announce tomorrow he is waaay gayer."

"I'm sorry I burned down your house, but the Mythbusters told me not to try it at home and you should really lock your doors when you go out."

"I hurt my foot the other day. My heel can't support any weight. But I haven't got to see a doctor yet. I'm just tiptoeing around the issue."

"A hand grenade to a daycare? RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______."

"A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair."