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Joke of the Day

"Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one But I don't have the balls to do that anymore."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? Mick Jagger yells ""Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"" The shepherd yells ""Hey! McLeod! Get off my ewe!"""

"I told my mom I was going to go work the polls. She replied, ""don't forget to wipe it down before you start your set."""

"When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians* When walking: *shakes fist at motorists* When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*"

"I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy."

"What do you say to your laces to make them go away? Shoo laces"

"I've compiled a list of famous athletes who have spent time in prison. It's a pros and cons list."

"Originally I didn't like having a beard but then it grew on me."

"I am Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

"Is there a mouse that doesn't make a clicking noise as I'm trying to close 10 windows when my boss walks into my office?"