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Joke of the Day

"Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one But I don't have the balls to do that anymore."

"I'm hungry but broke so I'm waiting for my bf to say he's hungry too than he'll order something delicious while I pretend to be indifferent."

"How does an international banker have a good Friday night? He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks."

"You know how sometimes you destroy your house & instead of cleaning you're like ""Screw it let's just move?"" That's why we're exploring space"

"""You're still a winner,"" Pinocchio whispered into his third drink. He wept as his nose grew to touch the glass."

"Darling ""Darling, can I go out in this dress?"" ""Yes dear, it's already dark out."""

"Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in."

"Im absolutely exhausted, would you believe I have spent all week road testing penny farthings..... My feet haven't touched the ground."

"I just farted real loud and my car alarm went off. Some guy is stealing it but I wanted you guys to know about my fart. Be right back."

"This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf."