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Joke of the Day

"Im absolutely exhausted, would you believe I have spent all week road testing penny farthings..... My feet haven't touched the ground."

"What did the man say to the sad fat guy? Hey, chins up buddy."

"what do you call a duck addicted to drugs ? A quack head"

"My dad's TV volume is always set at ""f*ck the neighbors""."

"What is the first rule of eating a banana? One. Never look someone in the eyes. What is the second rule? Two. Never look up."

"There's no easy well to tell your girlfriend that she has bad breath. I think I'm just going to stop kissing your girlfriend. edit: meant to say ""way"" instead of ""well"""

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he was eating a slice of pizza? He ate it before it was cool"

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? Cuz' it scares the fuck out of the dogs!"

"How many X does it take to change a light bulb? N! One to change the light bulb, and n-1 to display stereotypical behavioral traits of X!"

"Too err is human... To blame the next guy is even more so."