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Joke of the Day

"My son doesn't like spicy food. To prevent him from eating his boogers, I pour drops of Tobasco in his nostrils while he sleeps. #winning"

"What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla? Anything it wants!"

"Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast] Him: How did you get in my house?"

"I will do a lot of things but admiting I'm cold to my mom when she told me to bring a jacket is not one."

"Want to hear a joke about the ozone layer? [depleted]"

"How do you get to Nazi Germany It's on the third right EDIT: Woah this is like my third day here front page? I feel special now."

"I got my foot in the door, my head in the game, and my ass in gear. I'm one motivational tape away from a hospital admission."

"A man and his pet owl go to the bar together They had a hoot."

"As told to me by an indian bus driver overseas... Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck? Because they have cotton balls. Apologies if it's a repost."

"What kind of fruit always has a wedding_ A cantaloupe....."